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| User: | kawaii0koneko (6517847) ~*~a city with no people~*~
hides my someone just for me... |
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| Name: | Zoe | |||||
| Location: | Ottawa, Ontario, Canada | |||||
| Birthdate: | 1988-12-10 | |||||
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| Bio: | I am everything you think I am, and everything you don't. I'm a kitten in every way, naughy and nice. I'm in love with the world, so don't shatter my illusion. There is only one person in this world who is just for me. And I've found him. Except as noted, material in this journal is copyright © [03-05]. All rights reserved. It may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or part without express written permission. -----------~*~the city with no people, a love story~*~------------- - In this city, there are no people. The lights are on, in all the houses, but... there is nobody in the streets. Are the people inside? I peek in a window to find out... There are people. But they are with 'them'. I look in other houses. They are with 'them' too. This city is just like the rest... - Being with 'them' is fun. More fun than being with other people. Noone comes outside anymore... There are no people in this city. I will leave this city, and go to another one. I hope that I will meet someone. But if that special someone falls in love with me... I will have to leave that someone. Even so, I want to meet that special someone. This is what I think as I leave the city with no people... - Just as I feared... There's noone here either. Everyone is inside with "them". Being with 'them' is like living in a beautiful dream. A beautiful dream that noone wants to wake up from. 'They' will grant you your deepest wishes. 'They' will do whatever you ask. 'They' will be whatever you want. 'They' can do things that you cannot do. 'They' can never become people. 'They' might look like people, but they are only a substitute. I know this very well, because I am one of 'them'. - Today I look for someone just for me. Someone who will love me even if I can't furfill their wishes. But... there is another me. The other me askes, does such a person exist? I need someone whose love is true. I want someone who loves me without asking anything in exchange. I hope... Unless someone loves me for me, they're not someone just for me. *Is it so? -It is. *This someone exists? -He does. *If so, then where? -My someone just for me is nearby, I think... Perhaps I already know him. *But... what if that person does not love you back? Why if that someone likes someone other than you? People arn't like 'them', you can't reset their feelings. People arn't easy to change. -But people do change. Their feelings are dynamic. Feelings of love are more resistant than others. *What if he never loves you? -Then I'll have to decide. Decide, and do what must be done. Me... and the other me... * 'They' can do anything. 'They' are super people, made by people. 'They' can be prettier than the real thing. 'They' can be smarter than the real thing. 'They' can be whatever people want them to be. Whatever people can dream of. When the people saw the creation, they thought their dreams had come true. And in time, 'they' invited the people to share in a new dream. A dream they couldn't wake up from. But is that the dream that the people want? Is that what happiness is? 'They' were created to make people happy. But are the people truly happy being with 'then'? Is this cirt with no people truly happy? I don't know, because happiness depends on the individual. All people are different, no two are the same. -What makes one person happy, might make another sad? *People's souls come in all shapes and sizes. And as time goes on, and a person grows, their soul can change. Their hopes and dreams can change. That's why there isn't just one type of happiness. -Then there must be a way that I can be happy too? That is what we all want, isn't it? To find the person kist for you, to find your own happiness? *That would be wonderful, wouldn't it? - One day, I went to a new city. 'They' were in this city too, there is no place without 'them' anymore. The people are with 'them'. There are as many of 'them' as there are people. But there is only one person just for me, and I have still not found him. -You are that person, arn't you? What was that? I should do what with my hand? Hold it out? Where are you taking me? Is this your house? Why did you bring me here? Are you the person just for me? - You might be... but perhaps this person just brought me here because I am one of 'them'. Maybe he is just like everbody else, maybe he just wants me to grant his wishes. But there is one wish that I cannot grant. If I grant that wish, I would... have to say goodbye forever to the someone just for me. - Many days have passed since you brought me to the place. You still go outside, even when you have me. You experience many things outside, and then you come home and tell me about them. Sometimes, you even take me outside, even though I am one of 'them'. You tell me I can do whatever I want with my things, as if we were equals. - Little by little, the time with you and me passes. Little by little, the distance is moving. Yours and my distance. But has the distance gotten smaller? Or has it grown bigger? I don't know... I do know that I want it to be smaller. -But then... the same things will happen again. *It won't be the same... This person is not that person. It's someone else. People are all different. Even if people look the same, they are all a little bit different. No two hearts are exactly the same. That's why the same thing won't happen. -Then is this person the someone just for me? *I don't know... -But I'm starting to hope he is. - In this place that this person brought me, little by little... I'm beginning to hope that I can find happiness. But... someone will come to stop it. Someone will come to prevent me from finding the someone just for me, and that person will take care of me, but not because I am me. This person is kind, to all people, and all of 'them', he is kind. Right... that person is kind, and probably not just towards me. But if that person is kind, his kindness should be a little different each time. He can't be kind in the same way to everyone, because that person is a person. *That's right, a person's heart can't stay the same forever. A person's heart changes a little bit every day, because that is in their nature. -It can be different? *It doesn't always have to be the same. -If he finds in me the things that make me special, if he likes me because I'm me, little by little, things are different. If that person takes the time to find out what makes me different from the others, if he likes me because I'm me... If that happens, we may become something a little different than before. I may not have to lose what is important to me, like last time. *What's most important... -What's most important to both people and 'them', is something precious, and something you can't lose. The proof that I am who I am, the special proof. The proof that will tell me who my someone is. That someone just for me. - Once, long ago, I love something precious to me. I went through something very painful in the past. Even now, my heart hurts. Something very, very painful... Even now, the pain still lingers from when I lost what was precious to me. But I am still searching, still searching for that thing most precious. -I am me. I am one of 'them'. Because I am me, because I am not human. *Even so. -Because it is so. Someone who loves me because I am me... Someone who I'll love because he is him. The someone just for me. I know that I am you, and you are me. That's how I know that inside of me, I am one full person. I am happy when that person smiles. I am happy when that person is near. Yes... I am happy, when that person is happy. That person is special, different from other people. *You found it! The thing that makes that person special, that makes him different from the rest, is that... it's is him! -I found him, the person that's precious and special. The someone just for me. I hope that person finds them, the things he can't do because he is him, the things he can do because he is him. I have found him, I fell in love with him because he is that person. Hopefully, he will find them, theings he can do because I am me, and he things he can't do because I am me. *He will find them. -And then... hopefully, he will love me because I am me. Out of all people, and all of 'them', I want him to find me, and I want him to love me. This feeling inside of me is very sodt... but sometimes... it hurts. I become full of this feeling when I think of that person. *Do you feel the same way about everybody? -No... only when I think of that person. *What happens when you are with that person? -I get warm, like I'm glowing inside. *And when you can't be together? -It hurts... it really, really hurts in my heart. *Like you're going to die? -We can't die because we are not alive. Perhaps not... but it feels the same as if we could. Because we are 'them'. I hope we can be happy someday... But if we don't become happy, if the someone just for me knows all the things I can and cannot do because I am me, and he still doesn't choose me, then... I will have to decide what to do about you and about us. *What is wrong? -If the someone just for me doesn't chose me, I'm afraid the hurt in my heart will be so bad that I'll stop working. *It's a powerful feeling, isn't it? A hurt so strong that it can cause you to break. - There are no people in this city. But... through their windows, everyone looks so happy inside. Are these people truly happy? And... are 'they' truly happy? I am surrounded by people who stay inside with 'them', but I am all alone as I walk through this city with no people. All I want right now, more than anything else, is to be with him. The glow inside is brightest when that person is near, and the pain inside hurts more when he is away. I am happiest when I think of that person... I am saddest when I think of that person. That person makes all of my feelings more intense. That must be what love is. So please... let the person that I love be the someone just for me! - This city has no people... but... the light burning in the homes is warm and bright. I am in a city with no people, but I'm not sad or lonely. My heart glows. I an one of 'them', but I still feel warm inside. That's because I love this person. The heart of someone who's in love, whether that person is alive or not, is kind and warm. If my heart is this warm, if I can be this happy, then I wish that all those like me can fall in love, and that all of them will have thier love returned. The love we feel may not be the same, but it doesn't matter when I'm with the someone just for me. If we can all find that special person... then the world will be the most joyous place. This city will have no unhappy people. It's the special city that has the someone just for me  Note that the image and story are copyright to CLAMP | |||||
| Interests: | 70: art, atashi, autumn, baby phat, books, boyfriend, britain, canada, candy, china, chobits, city lights, clothes, clubbing, colours, cooking, cuddling, cupcakes, dancing, dead like me, europe, eye shadow, fashion, flowers, france, gold, gucci, hello kitty, icecream, indie films, innocence, italy, japan, kittens, la senza, lace, lingerie, lip gloss, love, make up, megatokyo, minis, money, movies, music, paul, photography, politics, reading, romance, roses, seduction, sex, sexy clothing, shoes, silver, skirts, snowflakes, spring, stars, storybook, strawberries, strawberry daiquiris, summer, tiffany & co, tokyo, victoria's secret, winter, world, yoko kanno | |||||
| Schools: | None listed | |||||
| Friends: | ||||||
| Friend of: | 61: 2shy2horny, __secretxlie, asilver76, bastardsword, bobditude, caranthir_mirel, chickenman316, cobweb_brain, ctuck, darktiger4play, dfrankenstein, doodala, fae_of_fire, flipmassam2188, gallifidor, gladiator3447, gomer21xx, gsoman2000, hauntednights, hornykitty, ilovenymphos, jackhammerinyou, jjcareksims, jrockfanboy, julien_m_r, just_lookn4a_ho, k_o_d, kapper2002, kawaii0koneko, kenshinddrfreak, lacy_lucy, lurkingwraith, mestthoughtrain, mondo_cannibal, mt_dewer, njbeachbum, oysterguy, pastelpoetry, philbeta, phire_chan, ptferret, rapture_tastes, runningman110, sam_1999, silk_visions, sinfulstarlet69, skisx, spd5184, stormy_wind_, sxyblkmn, tyd0fallen, varify_identity, weird_eddie, whatxisxwar, words_i_like, x_and_she_wrote, x_mizogyny, xxkaibaxx, y_uki_15, zeunges, zpydah | |||||
| Member of: | 8: a_z_n, aaxal_challenge, asian_beauty, gisele_daily, looking_great, megatokyo, megatokyorating, sextips | |||||
| Account type: | Basic Account | |||||
